Besiege! A Hilarious Medieval Siege Simulator Where Physics Reigns Supreme

Besiege! A Hilarious Medieval Siege Simulator Where Physics Reigns Supreme

Forget your realistic RPGs and hyper-detailed strategy games. Sometimes, what you truly need is a good dose of chaotic fun. Enter Besiege, a game where the only limit is your imagination (and the laws of physics, of course). Developed by Spiderbomb Studios and released in 2015, Besiege throws you into the wacky world of medieval siege warfare but with a twist: you’re the architect.

Instead of commanding armies or managing resources, you become a master engineer tasked with designing and building elaborate siege engines. Your goal? To obliterate enemy castles, crush hapless villagers (optional, but highly encouraged), and generally wreak havoc across the pixelated landscape.

Building Mayhem: The Heart of Besiege

The real magic of Besiege lies in its intuitive yet deceptively complex building mechanics. Using a robust sandbox editor, you piece together contraptions from a variety of medieval-inspired parts: wooden beams, iron wheels, cannons, ballistae, trebuchets - the works!

Think Minecraft meets Warhammer 40,000, but with a healthy dose of slapstick comedy. Your creations can range from simple catapults to sprawling, multi-tiered behemoths that defy all logic and reason. Want to launch a boulder using a giant slingshot powered by exploding sheep? Go for it!

The game encourages experimentation and rewards ingenuity. There’s no right or wrong way to build; only varying degrees of spectacular success (or hilarious failure). You might design a meticulously crafted siege tower that crumbles under its own weight, or a cannon that fires its crew into the stratosphere.

Campaign Challenges: Testing Your Engineering Prowess

Besiege doesn’t just leave you to your sandbox whims. It also offers a series of increasingly challenging campaign levels designed to push your engineering skills to their limit.

These missions range from straightforward castle assaults to elaborate puzzles requiring creative thinking and precise execution. Imagine having to launch a knight across a chasm using nothing but a trebuchet and some carefully calibrated timing, or dismantling a heavily fortified tower by constructing a giant robot arm that punches its way through the walls.

The campaign provides a structured path for learning the game’s mechanics and experimenting with different building strategies. It also introduces you to the diverse environments and obstacles you’ll encounter throughout the game, from treacherous mountain passes to sprawling medieval cities.

Physics Playground: Where Gravity is Your Nemesis

One of Besiege’s defining features is its realistic physics engine. Every bolt, beam, and cannonball reacts to gravity and inertia in a delightfully unpredictable way. This means your creations are prone to tipping over, collapsing, or simply launching themselves into the stratosphere at ludicrous speeds.

But don’t despair! Embrace the chaos. Learning to manipulate the game’s physics is key to crafting effective siege weapons. You’ll need to master concepts like counterweights, momentum, and structural integrity to ensure your creations don’t end up as smoldering wreckage.

Community Creations: Sharing the Siege Love

Besiege boasts a vibrant community of players who constantly push the boundaries of what’s possible in the game. The Steam Workshop is overflowing with ingenious contraptions shared by fellow engineers, ranging from functional tanks and airships to bizarre Rube Goldberg machines that defy explanation.

Downloading and experimenting with community creations is a great way to learn new building techniques and gain inspiration for your own designs. You can also share your own masterpieces with the world, contributing to the ever-growing library of siege weaponry.

Why Besiege Deserves a Spot in Your Library

If you’re looking for a game that’s equal parts challenging, creative, and utterly hilarious, then Besiege is a must-have. It’s a sandbox simulator where your imagination runs wild and physics is your playground (or sometimes, your worst enemy).

Table: Besiege Features At A Glance

Feature Description
Genre Sandbox Siege Simulator
Developer Spiderbomb Studios
Release Date Early Access 2015, Full Release 2019
Platforms PC (Windows, macOS, Linux), Xbox One, PlayStation 4
Key Features Intuitive Building Editor, Realistic Physics Engine, Challenging Campaign Missions, Active Community with Steam Workshop Support

So fire up your forge, gather your materials, and prepare to build the most ludicrous siege engines imaginable! Remember, in Besiege, there’s no such thing as failure – only learning experiences (and explosions).